3 Healthy Ways to Compare Yourself to Others

I read a post on Instagram this morning that I both agreed and disagreed with:

“Don’t compare your life to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon; they shine when it’s their time.”

The thing is, I compare myself and my life to others all the time.  I think most people compare themselves to others at some point in their life; sometimes, it's the stuff depression is made of and other times, it's the very thing that launches us forward in life.  We can use comparison to our advantage or we can let it make us feel unworthy, unsuccessful and unmotivated. If we're going to compare ourselves anyway, we may as well make it work for us. 

Try these alternate ways of viewing comparison. 

Why Reinvent the Wheel?

If we want something, we can most assuredly have it; but, we have to have a clear image of what it looks like. Crystal clear. We need to be able to see it, hear it and most importantly feel it – feel it as though it's a favourite memory filled with emotions so fresh, so raw and so sharp, it's like it happened yesterday. We need to first create it inside our mind before it will ever happen outside our mind.  How will we do this without looking to someone else who has already done it?

This is the first reason I compare myself to others – if they have something I want, I compare myself to them. My actions, my reactions and most importantly, my beliefs. I look to see what they are doing differently than I so that I can learn from them and have the same result they do. Like a mentor. No need to reinvent the wheel.

When I finally got a grip on maintaining my weight, it was because I started listening to the people who don’t have a weight problem. People who don’t have a weight problem don’t say, “I’ll start on Monday” or “I really hate working out” or “I just wanna eat an entire tub of ice-cream for dinner with cheesecake for dessert”.  There’s already someone who is successful in the area you want to be –  keep it simple, do what they do.

It’s Ok to Be a Thief Sometimes

With a vision, we can do anything we set our minds too.  Why not look to others for new ideas? Life is full of opportunities that can excite, motivate and fulfill both you and I.  Paths to adventure, paths to solitude, paths to wealth and fame, to peace and to creativity; they all exist. The people around us can provide a constant flow of inspiration - if we decide to look and, if we remember to press mute on the Voice of Doubt. 

The other day I read a blog written by a woman I admire – I think I may have a bit of a crush on her - she's Super Cool. She’s in the midst of writing a book, she hosts retreats, and she’s just started a clothing line. Writing a book and hosting retreats already exist in my plans, but a clothing line? Good idea!   

Oh Ya? So Can I 😉

I don’t want to be limited by my thoughts. I don’t want to be limited by a lack of knowledge or know-how.  So rather than putting a cap on what I think I’m capable of doing or achieving, I look to others. If someone else can host 10 retreats a year, so can I. If someone else can charge x amount, so can I.  If someone else can start a successful clothing line, so can I.

It was my first year selling insurance and investments – 100% commission. I was 20. Sitting down, setting first year goals with the sales manager and he asked me how much money I wanted to make that year.  I had no idea what was possible, what was average or what was even a normal answer.  150k came out of my mouth. A few quick calculations and it seemed reasonable. The lesser of the top advisors - who’d been in the industry for more years than I’d been alive - made about double that. So half seemed reasonable. The sales manager looked at me wide eyed and grinned;  “Most people say 50 or 60k? But ok, 150k.” 

The crux of healthy comparison is realizing that YOU CAN DO ANYTHING SOMEONE ELSE CAN.  I compare myself to others with a very solid knowing that anything I decide I want to accomplish, I can. You need to turn the volume wayyy, way down on any doubts that come along attempting to sabotage you... and then t

If your inner Chatty Kathy compares and focuses on why they're great and you suck, why they're lucky and you just got dealt a shitty hand, or how you’re different and blah blah blah,  count on it: you'll very quickly feel very yucky.  Don't go there.  Focus on the similarities; why you can instead of why you can't. Practice inevitability thinking and just simply recognizing your innate human potential. We’re all made up of the same stuff. You can most certainly do it too.